random thought

random post this week wow, its been a long few days. I went home wed from the hospital, and wound up going back to the er at evening. With a fever, and a small infection, and extremely anemic. I am on meds, and doing great now, i got sent home that night as soon as my fever broke. Thats the tiring news. But on to the exciting news. David is doing wonderful, and improving daily. I am allowed to hold him, and we thought that day would be weeks away. Its the most amazing experience, to be able to hold such a delicate looking, small child. Its amazing he is here, amazing he survived. You can tell he recognizes my voice, and just my touch calms him. Today i went to see him when there were cleaning his face so i got to see every inch of him (i will get pics posted tomorrow), the machine he has on him now covers most of his face, but he shouldn't be on it too long, he is breathing on his own, this just helps to keep his lungs expanded. I will be back tomorrow, then during the week our times will be short and limited as i cant drive yet, but we are working on a plan to at least see him every day. Today was a wonder visit...but so hard to leave ***************************************************************************** I have had friends with premies, I have heard stories. But nothing prepared me for how much joy a premie mom gets out of littlest things. Today was one of the more joyous days I have experienced. Might not make a lot of since of why this day would be so wonderul for me, but I need to share my joy anyway. I am feeling ...a lot better today, so I got sit upstraight in a chair 3 inches from David. I got to touch him for a full 45 mins (not hold he is still not ready for that) but I got to hold his legs, and his feet and even his little head that my hand can literally cover up. But even more special, I GOT TO CHANGE HIS DIAPER!!! Never in a million years would I think that would be something that could bring my heart so much joy. I tear up just thinking about it. Silly,.... ya totally!!! But one of the most blessed beautiful things I have ever gotten to do...in a few days- his condition permitting. I might get to hold him for a few mins, and that will be amazing! Thanks for letting me share ********************************************************************* My last night at the hospital; I dropped by to say goodbye to the night nurses that cared for me for 3 weeks, I got many hugs, and "good job"s. I also got to see the nurse that got David through the birth. She is the talk of the floor, and she said that it was one of her true highlight and blessing in her carreer. I then went to visit David, he is making improvement constantly. I was looking at his head, so full of hair (thick-soft-black). I just wanted to feel the softness. My hand cover all his head, and half his face. He loved it. He curled his legs in, got very still, and moved his head into my hand, you could tell it gave him comfort and peace. That was the highlight of my evening. I will see him tomorrow, and then I will be heading home. Until I heal I will be able to spend a very limited time with him, but once I am cleared to drive I will spend the first half of the day at home, second half with him, so please pray for my heart. I am going to miss the time I don't see him..