Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I am doing real well, I am no longer sick, and am healing well. I am still tired, but that comes with all this. I have my last apt with my dr in two weeks. But everything looks great with me. My only complaint is I am only able to get enough milk each day to give David 3-4 feedings from my own supply (he has 8 feedings a day- ) But they suspect once I get him home that will all work out.
Now on to David....where did I last leave off? I might repete a few things, but i will try my best not to miss anything. He got moved to the *big boy nicu* 10 days ago. The same day he got his IV out, and his oxygen completely off. The first 2 days after all this he lost about 1.5 oz (typical) but then started putting back on .5 to 1 oz a day. He is up to 1.25 oz of milk every 3 hours. And can suckle every so often (about 1/4 of a feeding- once every few days). He still has the feeding tube for the majority of his feedings, and is still in a temperature regulating machine (aka isolate, aka incubator). But they are lowering it a tiny bit every so often, and will wean him off that, as soon as he can regulate his own temp he will be in a regular open "bed".
After a week off the oxygen, he is back on (as of sunday) but very minimal. If they need to go higher on the oxygen he will go back to the little boy nicu but the dr doesnt think that will happen, and is thinking he will be off it in a very short time, and suggest that sometimes this happens when the feeds go up. He just need to work hard to eat, and grow, so his lungs just needs a little help. THe dr does not think he is going to have any long term lung issues.
So little David needs to be doing 3 things before he comes home. Eat 100 percent from a bottle or nursing. Regulate own temp, and no oxygen help. They are still guessing 4 weeks from now.
OH, and before I forget...Because its just the best news I have. He is 4 pounds (exactly) today!!!!!! I home this is a flowing post as I am tired....I am also sure I missed some smaller things, but I will add anything else I can think of...
Pics posted in photobucket (link on the right of the page)
Friday, April 23, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
David is doing AWESOME! He is off all oxygen, and they have been lowering his heat on his bed, so he is more easily regulating his own temp. He still has a feeding tube, but has taken 4 bottles (drinking about a fourth each time) and has nursed 4 times as well in the last three days, and gaining weight well.
He is a little charmer, has charmed my heart, thats for sure. As well as the nurses around him....Oh, he has got my heart, theres no denying that!!!!!
I am off to bed, I will try not to go so long with out an update!!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
I have uploaded the last few days of pics, and I have to say...his personality really shines in these photos, ahhhh melts my heart
I am starting to feel better, yesterday and tues i slept all day, and was very fatigued (a reason i didnt post pics yesterday) but i think today i am finally starting to feel better, I am half way through my antibiotics, still slow at moving, but doing better...
pics coming as soon as i download them
Monday, April 12, 2010
I have pics (really really cute ones *giggle*) i will be downloading tomorrow,
I am doing well, i think the meds are working, my milk supply is starting to increase, but barely keeping up with David...so i still have a ways to go, but getting there. I am taking it very easy, but am still very exhausted (they say between the long term bedrest, and infection, my recovery is going to be slower, but we will get there (-: )
i will post when those pics are up!
Saturday, April 10, 2010
So i spent a few days on iv antibiotics and spiked one last time to just over 103. But they all think i am now on my way to a complete recovery, really strong antibiotics that i will be taking for 10 days, no fever in the last 48 hours. i am now home resting.
It was nice being in the same area as David, and i did get to see him more often, but the total length if time i spent with him averaged less then when i was visiting fom home. That was a bummer. Still saying goodbye last night to head home was so hard, and so emotional.
He is growing, doing well, and oh sooooo sweet. We had a wonderful time together yesterday. He spent about 10 mins really showing off (-: He was opening his eyes wide, giving me those sleepy smiles, and even showing me his cute little tongue.
He is so funny, if he hears my voice he gets so excited that his little heart starts pounding, but the second i touch him, he settles down. The nurses laugh when that happens, because it is the ONLY time it happens. When i hold him, we are both so happy an content.
He is doing awesome, he is now up to 12 cc's of milk every 3 hours, and has caught up to my milk supply, so now i am really needing to get my milk going (mine is up to about 1 oz per pumping, but thats tripple what it was now that i am getting better i feel that i will be making milk well)
He is on positive air flow, and has to have oxygen a certain times. like when he eats (its hard work to fill up your tummy) and when he is being moved too much, but it minor. Otherwise he is doing really well.
We will be back this afternoon, to see him...I still have a week to go before i can drive, so i get to go when everyone is ready, so the wait is hard at times, but so worth it...
Friday, April 9, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
I was admitted today to the hospital, with a fever and infection, i will be here til Friday or Saturday, i am getting lots of iv treatments, fluids and meds, with all that i am struggling to get more the an oz per pumping and most of the time less, however we figure when the infection is gone, my milk will come in greater! I will give a better update tomorrow, sleep is pulling at me
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
|I had to wait ALL DAY LONG, to see David yesterday. ((boo hoo_ sniff sniff)). Todd started work back, so we have to wait til 4 to leave for our 45 min drive (sigh) to see David, until I can drive myself. Makes for a long day, but honestly I am just thankful he is doing so well and that I CAN see him every day. Its getting rough to make those drives, i hope my family can just hold on a little onger til i can drive.|
I held him for almost 2 hours, and while i was holding him the nurse said. "did you pump recently? Are you empty.....would you like to have him suckle" WOULD I??? WOULD I? lol...she most certainly didnt have to ask a second time. He doesnt have the ability to nurse yet, he doesnt have the sucking skills and it is also very tiring. So he was "attached" for about 10 minutes, and gave 10 mighty sucks!!!!!!!
These little feats of his are remarkable, amazing, awe feeling....and makes you take a big sigh, of comfort, relief, and pleasure....What an amazing little man he is.
Also as I was typing this up I got my morning call from the dr...He gained right over 1.5 oz in the last few days, so he is now right above his birth weight of 2 lbs 15 oz.
They are increasing his feedings again from 3 cc's every 3 hours, to 4....But instead of upping it everyday, they are going to try upping it every 12 hours. This is encouraging.
He is breathing well, but has his occasion hard deep breathes. So far he is tolerating it, but may have to go back on the cpap for small durations if those harder breathes are too difficult. But so far the dr says "he is holding his own"
Amazing little man,truly amazing!
As far as me....I did get a call back from the ER dr (from my wed night visit) I did have a hardy infection going through my body (due to the combo of the bag being ruptured so long and the c-section) but it looks like the meds are working. I have noticed that if i have a long or stressful day my fever does come back, but low grade. We will be continuing to take care of me too with rest and dr visits. And are hoping when my meds are done, so will my infection.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Yesterday was wonderful. I spent a lot of the day with little David. I got to take his temp, change his diaper, turn him over and wipe his eyes (those everyday things, we never think would be so amazing to be able to do) I held him for 2 hours, and we both loved that, every second.
2 hours is about all he can do, it tires him out, and being freshly off the cpap, we need to take it easy and make sure he doesnt get to tired. The rest of the time i got to talk to him, stare at him, and just be in the same room. It was wonderful, so, so wonderful.
It was pretty exhausting for me as well, and i am a little sore, and tired today, but even with that I have been able to decrease my pain meds. So I am healing well.
I am counting the hours til i see him again (we leave he at 4:00) It is going to be hard to wait for Todd to be off work to go, but soon I will be driving myself, and for now i am just so happy i can see him today!
all pictures at this link
davids video- smile at 1:39
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He went up from one cc of milk ever 3 hours to 2 yesterday. He is tolerating it very well so they went up to 3 cc's every 3 hours (there is aprox 15 cc's in 1/2 an oz)
He has gained 1/2 and oz (was down 2 oz since birth- which is normal but is now on the up )
He had his first brain scan, and everything looks great (biggest concern is bleeding)
He had his first poo yesterday as well!!!
I got more pics (posted at photobucket) and a video that we took yesterday. The video is also at photobucket, his eyes are open, and at 1:39 he smiles....ohhh what an amazing thing to watch!
i will type more out later today!!!!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Today was a GREAT day. He is off the blue light (jundice), off the cpap (continous positive air pressure) to see how he does. He gets about 1 cc of momma milk every 4 hours (1/2 an oz will feed him 15 times the nurse says), in a few days he will be getting 2 cc's. Ohhh, he was soooo hooked up just 6 days ago, so many monitors, meds, equipment....So many that for those first few days couldnt even hold him. He has come such a long way. Just last week, the day his was born, the dr were so worried, we really didnt know what his lungs would bring. Today, (and i am praying he continues forwards) he has nothing helping his lungs. I rejoice with every ounce of my body,and thank the Lord that He gave little David the energy to fight as hard as he did...And brought him this far.
It amazes me that he stayed through so much. He got the knick name, "little fighter"because no matter what he just keep holding one. With the stress on my body from losing the first, I should have misscarred him. Oh...he is a fighter. When the dr said at 20 weeks to give up, and he wont make it. We both keep fighting. Thank you David for being so strong. Thank you God for making Him that way.
So on to tonight (check photobucjet, link in prev postfor pics)
I got to hold him, skin to skin with nothing between us, no big covering on his face, head. Still has a tube in his mouth and wires, and ivs..but he looks amazing, and it really felt like i was holding holding HIM for the first time, truly, truly the most amazing thing i have ever felt and experienced. I just held him, hugged him, and kissed him for 2 hours, non stop....its so hard to leave after that, but i know when i see him tomorrow i will be able to snuggle and hold him again, just the same.
laura (my 12 year old) was with me, and held him for a few seconds, and she was in heaven!
(edited, and added 5-5)
From the very begining this pregnancy was different, and full of unfamilar surprises. I knew I was pregnant with in days of conceiving. Morning sickness right away. My first pregnancy test was neg, because of how early I tested. I should have know then that i was in for a long haul. I should have known this one would be anything but normal.
When i was about 5 weeks along I started to miscarry. I have "been there, done that" so many times, that i was waiting it out at home. I started bleeding heavily, and having some sharp pains. This was concerning So I made an apt. I knew I was losing the baby. In my mind no baby would have made it through that. Plus the pains made me fear an etopic pregnancy. But I was not prepared for the news I found at the drs office (well part of me was, but still came as a shock).
"Yes Debra" the dr says," you are miscarring, but at this point I see two sacks." One sac that was already empty. "But you have a strong beating heatbeat in the other sack"
Its a typical thing, I was told. But still hard. I almost had twins. How sweet would that have been. It is hard to deal with the emotions that come with losing a twin when one survives. Or grieve a loss when you are trying to hold onto the other. Its bitter sweet. It is wonderful that you are pregnant and carrying a life, but sad that you lost one. Its a blessing, with a tradgety all combined.
The dr told me that in most cases the twin will miscarry then everything will absorb, and the second baby will go to term "Happens all the time" I left the drs office that day not knowing how to feel. Or how I did feel.
I expected the miscarry to be over quickly, like all my others. Then it just got worse. I was now sure I was going to lose the second baby. I was bleeding so much that I was mins away from an ER trip, 9 o'clock one night. It eased up so i went to bed and saw the dr the next day. Our little baby was still doing great in his little home. The dr said we will just take it one day at a time. I continued to bleed until i was almost 18 weeks. Everyday I thought would be the day I lost my baby. Its rough to think that way, but i thought it was inevitable. This whole time I was on 'light' work. AKA no working out, no heavy lfting etc. My husband and I talked many times about losing him, and still 'knowing it was just a matter of time.' At 18 weeks I finally breathed. I was no longer bleeding. WE MADE IT! He was going to make it. YEAH!!!! Right? NOPE!
Aprox 2 weeks later I was just standing and talking to my hubby, and i felt something all too familiar. *sigh* My water broke. I just could not believe it. We made it half way, I could not bare the thought of delievering a baby at 20 weeks. He would look perfect...but would be way to early.
We got to the hospital. Oh, it was horrible. We were in the middle of the swine flu lock (aka nobody even your own children under 18 could come into the maternity ward) I was on my own. My husband had the kids, and I was in the hospital. Knowing what was ahead for me. Me delievering the baby on my own with no one to hold my hand, nobody to cry with me, and me saying goodbye to my precious baby before i even had a chance to say hello. They did the ultra sound first thing. I found out that he was a boy. He deserved a name, evenif he was only 20 weeks and even if he wasnt going to make it. It was easy. He was David. My little David.
I had just changed insurance so this was the first time I meet my new dr. He said that he wanted to induce. David was alive, it a bad situation but still alive. And he still wanted to induce. He had a good reason, in his mind. He said my risks of infection were to great. He said if I got an infection I might lose my uterus. I could even die. So his best option was induce. I said no. He came back with numbers. 60 percent chance of an infection if I wait. He said labor normal starts with in a weeks anyway. Well I wasnt in labor, and 40 percent that i wouldnt get an infection isnt bad. (honestly i would have fought it with only one percent- if not less). I had to get direct for him to drop the induction talk. He didnt mention it again that night. But did give me a lot of sideways looks. I went home, knowing, labor was going to start. After all my body knows what it is doing. water breaks. Babies come.
I knitted a hat for Little David to be burried it (yes I was preparing myslef for his death, it was the most likely senario, not the one i liked, but likely). A teeny, tiny. Little hat. Oh my gosh, how heart wrenching. But I needed to be prepared, he wasnt 'supose to' survive. I needed David to have something special. Something from his momma. The next day I went into the hospital with *labor pains* I had a new dr, he gave me the same risk factors, scary outcomes, etc. But I wasnt in labor, wasnt dialated...I could go home (and continue to wait for labor...I was like a ticking bomb). And he would supprt any decision I made. To induce. No thanks. Or to 'take my chances.' Yup I took my chances. I carried that hat with my for...well It still in my purse....and we will keep it.
I got transfered to a high risk dr right away, and a new hospital that has a NICU (the other hospital didnt have these), I was now is great hands..
Ack, we did the math, and each visit is $13 in gas...we (hubby) briefly talked about not seeing him everyday, oh that broke my heart in two, and i just broke down and cried, The thought of not seeing him was..sigh, you all know, SO hubby said we will make it work. That means i will be able to see him everyday this coming week!!!!!! That made my heart smile, but woa...
our next difficulty is going to be when hubby starts work back up on monday, he will be home, but cant leave til 5 since so we cant fit the trips into the day (its a 40 min drive one way) so the trips will be late, and short. I keep telling myself at least i can see him (and that makes my heart sore), and 3 weeks will pass soon, and then i can drive myself, and just camp out near him all day..
My visit with David- I was looking at his head, so full of hair (thick-soft-black). I just wanted to feel the softness. My hand cover all his head, and half his face. He loved it. He curled his legs in, got very still, and it felt as tho he moved his head into my hand (maybe just sensed the touch), you could tell it gave him comfort and peace. That was the highlight of my evening. I will see him tomorrow, and then I will be heading home. Until I heal I will be able to spend a very limited time with him, but once I am cleared to drive I will spend the first half of the day at home, second half with him, so please pray for my heart. I am going to miss the time I don't see him.. (And that's a huge understatement)
His updates, he is on the ventilator at 20 percent_ whoo hoo! Weaned off meds except low levels of one. He is beautiful, amazing, precious, and so wonderful, one glance fills your heart so full of love and joy that there's no room for anything else...
And, *yeah* I am producing 1/2 an oz (and climbing) every two hours of milk *and yippee*
My visit was awesome, I got to touch him for 45 mins, got to see all of him....and GOT TO CHANGE HIS DIAPER, never in a million years would I think that would make me so happy, but relaying it to hubby, and typing it now is just bringing on the tears lol....
He is doing soooooo good, the dr said they are going to try and wean him off the ventilator all together tonight- or tomorrow, and put in a less invasive noise tubes ...they are taking tiny steps forward, and so far none backwards (but they do expect some backward steps here and there) he is off the nitro, and also is weaning off or mostly off the other meds they have him on (blood pressure, and a sedative)
I also GOT MILK (well colostrum) only about a teaspoon, but that's more then enough for his first feeding (that feeding won't be for a few more days anyway)
David is making hourly improvements, he has moved from the heavy duty ventilator, to the normal ventilator, we still have a long road, but we have made it so far, and since yesterday alone he has made so many improvements
That we are all optimistic
I am starting to get around a little easier, so I am able to see David better, and able to touch him a lot more, he loves to have his legs squished up, and he does well with touch (although can get easily over stimulated) he opened his eyes for me....and I had a wonderful visit with him tonight...
march 28th David is here
This morning very soon after I woke up, I felt something weird come out....I knew what it was with in a few seconds (the cord, was on its way out...but wait, i am not even in labor), I called the nurse, with in 5 seconds I had about3 nurses, my dr and a few others in my room....my wonderful nurse, acted quickly and pushed the cord back up (i learned later that David held the nurses finger from the time she stepped in to the time the surgeons hand reached in, she said it was a total and amazing blessing to her)... david did well, I was completely out, he was born with in 15 mins from the time i called the nurses...I woke up a while after....they did have to resuscitate, but didnt take much (totally normal at this age they said) then he started trying to breath on his own -but he was too little, and had such poor lungs to do much work, he was doing poor at the beginning, they did ALL the lung steps (i dont rememeber what they were I just rememeber there were 3), and he wasn't doing great (you could tell the neo dr was concerned) well, about 7 hours after birth he was breathing 25 percent room air....and that's major, and terrific news!!!!! And ahuge turn around, and his dr is now happy (still no where near being out of the woods) he is 2 lb 15 oz, and yes big for his gest age (I think weight wise he is closer to 31 weeks) oh, and he is beautiful, absolutely beautiful....I have a pic on my phone, and should be able to transfer it in the next few days
Anyway, if I was at home he would not have survived with the cord that way, and my nurse was amazing...
I am doing well sore of course, but good...I tried pumping today and they say it might take a few days to come In, so we will keep pumping and wait patiently for it to come in ...he can't have any for the next few days anyway, and when he does it will be about a teaspoon a day (he will be on a preemie supplement to try and fatten him up)
thanks for everything, I am happy to have been sharing this hard journey with you all, and I will continue to update you all
I am sitting here, on total bed rest, feeling totally blessed. I am 27 weeks (he has been holding on for 7 weeks!), and David is still growing The sun is shinning in my window (and this is oregon so thats a big deal lol). Theres a tree right out side my window that was still brown last week, the leaves today are green and beautiful. I have been told by 2 nurses that i have the best veiw of all the momma rooms one nurse said blossoms will be on this tree in just a few weeks, and she wants me here to see them. They are all so sweet here, and even though there are many patience here i feel like i am being watched after all the time (but with all my "issues" and constant monitoring i am being watched over very well)
David still looks great, having braxton hix type of pains, nothing big, and he is handling them well, i am dilated to a 2, but have been that way for a few days, he is still butt down, but the nurses have strick orders to do an u-s when labor starts, and the dr admitts that they are all puzzled that with such low fluid he is able to turn so often, so maybe one more big turn will be instore.
I did have something weird happen today. I had started miscarring the twin at 5-6 weeks, u-s said it took a few weeks (well a bunch of weeks), but we thought he had been absorbed, that all started 20 weeks ago, wow, today the miscarriage of davids twin finally finished, (it wasnt much- just tiny looking tissue but it was jus the weirdest thing) This has been the weirdest pregnancy ever (well for me)
Anyway thats me, and my updates...I saw my kids on sunday, cuddled with most of them in my bed, and will see them tomorrow, i get daily pics, videos and texts from my hubby, of all them, it so nice he is doing it for me...Does make me want to reach through my phone and grab them
Thanks for sharing this journey with me
I am almost 27 weeks, in the hospital and will be here for the duration of my pregnancy, I know a lot of you have been following me on this journey, and sending lots of loves, thoughts, love and prayers..so i will continue to update, with any big changes, but we are hoping baby stays put for another bunch of weeks.
There have been no changes since my last post, so baby is looking good, and his head is down, we are just taking it one day at a time:goodvibes:
I now have internet at the hospital, ...so ill see you all around
Everything is the same....Sitting all day, and taking care of baby and me. He is still active in my tummy, and I am still having fliud issues...I forgot, at my last apt (last wed) there was a consern that the cord was under the baby, but it looks like it might be slipping in and out. We dont want it under the baby; the cord would be delieved first, and then would cut off blood flow to baby...I tried to get a full understanding and asked the dr but I think even for her there were to many questions, to give a complete answer. I am not sure if the cord underneath would mean c-section, or it its just completly bad all around.. (the dr seems really nervous about it at first, and then said, it seems to be moving in and out of that position) I dont know... But its another consern.
I am 25 weeks today... wow has it been 5 weeks, And we know we got a fighter here....Oh how i hope he holds on another month (wouldnt that be awesome)...but if we are throwing out hopes, wishes- and of course prayers...Lets reach for the stars, and say lets make it to term, and be a strong healthy little man:hugs: